Cradle 2 the Grave Director - Andrzej Bartkowiak
Actors - DMX, Jet Li, Mark Dacascos, Anthony Anderson, Tom
Arnold
Kernan's Review
DMX has made it clear with the opening of his production company
that the movie business isn't a hobby or a bandwagon-jumping
fad. DMX the actor is dead serious about making a go of it
in Hollywood. Unfortunately for DMX, Hollywood is not yet
taking him seriously, sticking him with bad B-movie action
scripts like the one he's saddled with in Cradle 2 the Grave,
which, much like his last film Exit Wounds, casts him as the
anti-hero with a heart of gold. It is a tiresome formula from
which he will have a hard time.
In Cradle 2 the Grave, DMX is
a diamond thief named Tony Fait who, along with his crew (including
Anthony Anderson and Gabrielle Union) knock over a huge diamond
vault in broad daylight. Unfortunately, they are being watched
and followed by a shady Taiwanese law enforcement agent named
Su (Jet Li). Just when it seems that the crew has pulled a
successful heist, Su sends in the cops and Tony and company
escape with only a fraction of their loot.
- advertisement -
What they did get away with is
a very valuable and mysterious bag of black diamonds. Having
never seen anything like them before, Fait takes the diamond
to a expert fence played by comedian Tom Arnold. Before the
fence can find anything out about the diamonds, they are stolen
by a rival gang headed up by Boston Public's Chi McBride.
It gets worse. The original owners of the black diamonds,
headed up by straight-to-video legend Mark Dacascos, want
their diamonds back and take Fait's eight-year-old daughter
in order to get Fait to give them what they want. (The child
in danger plot is the hallmark of hack screenwriting.)
Now, with nowhere to turn, Fait
must team with Su to get his daughter and the diamonds, which
are actually a powerful new terrorist weapon created by the
Taiwanese government.
Director Adrzej Bartkowiak, who
also helmed Exit Wounds, gives Cradle 2 the Gravea strong
music video slickness that work well during the fight scenes,
which are choreographed to the film's strongpoint, its soundtrack.
If only the film were as entertaining as it is music. Unfortunately,
it's not.
Still struggling with English,
Li is given little to do when he isn't fighting bad guys.
This puts the dramatic onus on DMX, who has a strong presence
but is still a little too raw to be a leading man. The supporting
cast is not bad; Union gives an especially strong accounting
of herself showing off some kick-ass moves that she's never
shown before. Anderson manages to keep his most annoying traits
in check, though he is still somewhat grating, especially
in the obviously improvised moments.
Poor Mark Dacascos is laughable
as the villain. With his vapidity oozing over every sentence,
Dacascos is one of least intimidating baddies in a long time.
This guy is supposed to be a criminal mastermind; I doubt
this guy could mastermind a convenience store robbery let
alone negotiate an international arms deal. He, of course,
is stuck with the film's most unintentionally chuckle-inducing
moments when he addresses the world's foremost arms dealers
by saying, "You are the world's most foremost arms dealers." Thanks for the plot update, genius.
Cradle 2 the Grave is yet another
chase-scene, explosion, special-effect, action movie on auto-pilot.
A film that had a cast and a poster before it had a script,
Cradle 2 the Grave is a marketer's dream and an intelligent
moviegoer's nightmare.
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